Monday, 11 March 2013

A Wedding and a Toad Voice

This weekend a long-time friend of mine got married and I stood up for her at her wedding. That is, I stood up for her for part of her wedding. I think she probably still doesn't know that I had to duck out for part of it, what with how much of her attention was focused on making googly-eyes at her beloved.

Luckily, the sermon was long enough that I didn't have to miss any of the important ceremonial parts. My sister texted her boyfriend,

"The sermon was so long my sis had 
time to stand as a bridesmaid, get sick, 
leave to be sick, and come back."

High heels or not, I had the stealth of a ninja during my exit. Some people didn't even notice until the wedding coordinator went up to tell one of the other bridesmaids to fill in the gap I had left in the line.

Alas, this illness. My dad got sick at his own wedding, so maybe I'm just getting the whole get-sick-at-weddings thing out of my system before I eventually have one of my own. Currently, I'm on the mend, but my voice always seems to lag behind the rest of my body in terms of recovery. Once I lost it for a whole month after everything else had gotten better. I don't anticipate this time around being so bad, but for now, I've got a new voice. It's somewhere between sexy and comic.

My voice apparently dropped during my summer as a camp cabin leader, and it was pretty deep for a female to begin with, but now I'm a veritable lioness. I've got that deep rumbling growl thing down pat. Hear me roar. The analogy also works with a toad instead of a lion.

I guess this is what I get for using my already fading voice to make myself sound like a black gospel singer during the long car trip between Alberta and Saskatchewan. I probably shouldn't have done it, but it's hard not to use your voice when it's busy disappearing. Usually, I know exactly what my voice will do, so it's boring to use. But when it starts creaking and breaking, it gets exciting - it's like exploring a jungle path or something. Where will it go? What new twists and turns will it take? Where will the trail disappear? Will it continue on to where you want it to go? 

Though, it is hard to sound dignified and professional with a voice you can't control. I was in class today, trying to expound a grammar point to one of my classmates. Clearly his mind was elsewhere.

I was saying, "So, this sentence is in the present perfect tense, because it's in reference to now, as opposed to comparing the event to a particular point in the past."

"Heh," he replied. "You sound cute with your voice all raspy like that."

This must be why I haven't been able to attract a boyfriend yet. My voice is normally just too smooth and sultry. I've got to work on the raspy voice thing more often or I might never have to worry about getting sick at my own wedding.

"Speak the truth, even if your voice shakes." Anonymous