Thursday, 4 October 2012

The Great Husband Hunt

When people at home learned of my school plans, they typically had one of two reactions:

1. "Nice! What are you studying?"
2. "Good luck getting your M.R.S.!"

Seriously, I was just about drowned in BridalQuest jokes. And now that I've been away for a full month, I'm sure there are a great many people out there who wish to know whether I'm dating anyone yet.

So, just for those people, I thought I'd go ahead and document the highlights of my love life here. It's a gripping tale.


Open dorms in my building are really open. Guys just wander into our quad.

"Hey," said a guy as he wandered inside. "Aren't you in my theo class?"

"Um," I said, looking up from my computer.

"You're writing a paper on Arius," he said.

"Yes," I replied.

"So am I," he said. "I've borrowed some books from the professor, and I've photocopied the stuff I need. They're good primary sources. I'll go get them for you right now."

"Oh," I said. "Thanks."

So he came back right away with the appropriate research material for my paper. At least I managed to learn his name before he wandered back out again.


"Is this a dorm date?" asked Mark during the dorm's campfire worship time.

"It's a dorm date," I replied.

"It's NOT a dorm date!" Greg the RA interjected.

The official dorm date happened later. They went bowling. I missed it. I was busy hiking with my cohort.


I'm not the only one here who's no good with names. It was open dorms again, and James wandered into my quad to invite me over for supper - two more guys and two more girls were also invited. I think James was the only one who knew everyone's names. Over the course of the dinner conversation, however, we sort of introduced ourselves several times.

"Ok," said Heather to Mark when he declared that he now knew all our names. "What are all our names?"

He managed the first two girls (they had coached him on their names just prior to this conversation) and then got to me. "Umm...." he stuttered, "Uh... this incredibly lovely and most beautiful woman over here!"

"Nice," said Heather, "but that's not her name."

"It's not?" said Mark, abashedly heading for the door, "Well, it should be."

Saurov shook his head at Mark. "Your name means 'love' in French though, doesn't it?" he said to me.

"Uh..." I said, "No?"

"It doesn't?" he said, surprised. I think he thought my name was Amy or something.

"Nope," I said.

"Oh! No, you're right, it doesn't," said Saurov, trying to cover.

"I'm Carla," I said.

"Right, right!" the guys chimed.


I was a bit tardy getting to chapel in the morning. Yet, when I arrived in the academic building, way more people than usual were still milling around, chatting and undeniably not in chapel. I kept walking toward the auditorium, because what else would I do?

As I passed a classroom on the way there, someone or other called my name. I looked inside. There was a full circle of about a dozen guys sitting inside. Even now, I'm not sure who called my name, but it was probably Chuck. He's part of my cohort. I think he was the only one there that knows my name well enough to recognize me, retrieve my name from his brain, and get it from his mind to his mouth fast enough to catch me in the hall. It could possibly have been Nathan - after he had generously given me the books on Arius, he found out he couldn't renew his other ones because I had put them on hold.

"Was that you?" he had said, stopping me in the hall.

"Uh," I said, embarrassed, "...yeah?"

"Oh, well," he said.

At any rate, I only knew two of the others in the circle; Mark has probably forgotten my name already and I'm pretty sure Greg at least knows my face.

"Is there no chapel today?" I asked.

"It's variety chapel," they responded. "We break into groups. Come be the lone female representative in our group."

Seeing as I had no idea what other options were available, or where, I sat down.

"Really?" said Chuck.

"I guess," I said.

They cheered. Nathan opened with a prayer that went something along the lines of "Thanks, God, for all these guys and girl..."

Now I know how Chuck and Andrew feel in a cohort of females.  My small group is full of guys and me. It just happened. No, I swear, I'm not engaged to any of them.

Although there was that one time I was talking to my dad and brother on Skype and my RD, Kathy, momentarily thought I had two guys in my room. She was convinced enough to walk in and check.

But rest assured, it's only Thanksgiving. Some people take a whole two months to find their husband, you know.

Westley: I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?
Buttercup: Well, you were dead.
Westley: But death cannot stop true love... all it can do is delay it for a while.


Mom said...

I especially love the putting the books on hold part, you swearing you're not engaged, and the observation that some people take more than two months to get engaged. :) Thanks for the chuckles.

Brianna said...

I hope you share your on-hold books with him! :)

Anonymous said...

A whole two months wow! does that mean Im behind? dude thats funny! You make me laugh! Love you Carla, did you get your letter yet? Jeanie

art said...

Well, I still want to interview anyone that you plan on marrying. But it is good to start with getting their names...