Thursday, 2 February 2012

Baby Naming Boys

Here is the boy-baby naming data from Alberta 2010. You may be interested in some of the more... interesting... names.

Someone in Alberta just over a year ago named their baby boy.... Baby. Now, there are plenty of parents that call their baby "Baby". Hey, I even call people's babies "Baby", regardless of whether I know their names or not. But I have never heard of someone naming their baby "Baby". Maybe nine months just wasn't enough time for the parents to find a name they liked.

The parents of Elmer-Charles-Rylee must have had the opposite problem. They couldn't figure on a name they didn't like. I wonder how many middle names this little bopper has.

Moving on six babies were named "Corny", which is doubtlessly a diminutive of Cornelius, but STILL, people, please. Next you'll be naming him "Cheesy".

One baby was named Barabbas. Yes, after the murderer in the Bible, I assume. And somebody had the guts to use "Zerubabel". (And my relations think I have crazy biblical name tastes. At least I make an attempt to spell them correctly.)

We also welcomed into our midst a little Beowolf. No, not "Beowulf", but "Beowolf". So much for coming off as educated literature geek parents.

There's also a Ding, Bing, Bang, and Boomer born among us. The first three could quite possibly be ethnic names, but I still find it interesting. Actually, it's sometimes difficult to distinguish between perfectly respectable ethnic names that just sound goofy to an English speaker and names that are genuinely bizarro-weird. Yet I'm pretty sure that "Gixxer" falls into the latter category.

A lot of baby boys were given noun name. The most patriotic of these was Canada (and one Kanada). There was also a Dragon (and Dragan), and a wee little Leviathan. Maybe he was such a fat baby that his mother was convinced that's what he was as she delivered him. Also, Duramax and Dynamite. But besides Coven being a pagan name, isn't Wicca also primarily a female religion?

The two little babies named Coy were offset by the one named Courage. And how about Stoic? Lots of parents name their baby after a trait they hope the baby to show, but I guess these parents must really have been hoping for a quiet, easy baby. On the other hand, the parents of the 3 babies Tiger were probably hoping for something else. I'm not sure what the parents of Daedric were wanting, except more time to play Oblivion and Skyrim.

And then someone named their son Hades. WHAT THE? Sigh. There's Riddick, too, which isn't QUITE as bad as Hades, but leaves more room for teasing. Riddick-ulous! And Heartheaven? Mydnite? Despite naming your kid a sentimental noun like Midnight, it's still not unique enough that you have to do it with a kre8iv spelling?

There's less kre8iv spelling going on with the boys than with the girls, but there's still enough to make you shake your head. "Jheirred" for "Jared"? So what if Jared is popular? If you love it, use it, but I assure you that randomly altering the name to make it impossibly difficult to spell will not garner your baby any more respect from anyone. At least Xzavier and X-Zavier leave no question as to their pronunciation.

And dare I ask what was the purpose behind the 11 babies "Trystan" and "Trysten"? We do not need double entendres in baby names, thank you. I don't understand why the letter Y is so popular with parents right now.

On the slightly less aggravating side, someone used Strider (yay, Lord of the Rings!), plain V (V for Vendetta, anyone?), and Valen (Babylon 5, yes, yes?)

I like Augustus, but it may sound too pretentious in our culture. Still, I'm happy to see it used. I was intrigued by the 6 named Orion. I've been contemplating this name for quite a while, but I'm not sure I could ever use it.

For my personal favourites, there was unfortunately only one Ephraim (and one Efrem, but that barely counts). There were also 5 Enochs (and one Enock), 4 Gideons, and 2 Corins. And a full 25 named Griffin.

Fifty-six boys were named after my brother, Justin, and 5 after my dad, Arthur. Four were named Heinrich (plus a few others of various Heinrich/Hendrick composition).

I know I've used this before, but it's just so pertinent:

"Even the most obedient and adoring of Nazis might have had difficulty saluting his Fuehrer with a crisp 'Heil Schicklgrober!'" The Concise Biography of Hitler


Wilkie said...

This is awesome...very kre8iv you could say. Let's be a bit more sane when the time come, eh Carla?

Unknown said...

Cool! What about girls names??

art said...

Naming a boy "baby" is bordering on child abuse. The parents must be sick drugged up crack heads. It is nice to be creative but the kid has to live with the name until he is old enough to get it changed which I assume is 18.

Carla said...

Hey Daddy! Yeah, it's not a good idea to name a kid "Baby". I wonder, though, if perhaps they just hadn't settled on a name yet and so used "Baby" as a placeholder until they thought of something better. I'm crossing my fingers.