Saturday, 29 October 2011

Hit List

The number of things you can fix with a good smack is pretty impressive. At Tim Horton's, if the sugar machine gives you too much sugar, you hit it. If it's not giving you enough sugar, you hit it. If the hot cap machine gets clogged, you hit it. If the pin pad goes blank, you hit it. With all the corrective hitting going on among Tim's employees, I suspect we could make a notorious mercenary group. With all the aggression going on it's almost a wonder we haven't tried.

Elsewhere, if your blue Dell laptop computer monitor is on the blink, you hit it. Gently first, then more angrily as it becomes increasingly useless. If a remote control isn't working, you hit it. If your flashlight stops shining, you hit it. If you get water in your ear swimming, you hit it (or slap yourself across the face, if you happen to be my sister).

Most people seem to think that if your microphone isn't working, you hit it, but I wouldn't recommend that one. Anyway, I believe my point is made.

"Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft." Theodore Roosevelt


Anonymous said...

:) Love this! Especially the quote... but hit hard. Good point, no half-way, you do it or you don't.

Bri said...

Haha awesome. I was in the back of Streetlight trailer the other week wondering what on earth was going on upstairs... I thought the roof was going to cave in on me. Turns out people were smashing the tv to make it work. It works.

art said...

So, if kids don't work like they should, you hit them. If landmines are not working, you hit them. I wonder why hitting seems to work so well for so many things? I don't hit too many things - drawers, bottles and doors that don't open, but maybe I should examine this philosophy more closely.