Friday, 27 May 2011

A Dinner Conversation

Snippets of a typical dinner conversation at the Heinrichs table (except that we now have an M. Div student added to the mix - hello, Rachel!):

Mom: Did somebody put something in my water? It tastes funny.

Dad: You mean the plastic cup in the sink?

Mom: Did I just drink CLR?

Dad: Uh...

Mom: WHY WOULD YOU PUT CLR IN MY CUP?

Dad: It was in the sink! And it wasn't much. You'll be fine.

Carla: The container says to call 911.

Dad: Nah, it was diluted. Only a drop or two. She's fine.

Carla: This cantaloupe tastes moldy, but I don't see any mold.

Mom: I know what you mean! It kind of does, doesn't it? It's got that sort of aftertaste.

Justin: Well, I'M SORRY I'M A HORRIBLE CHEF!

Dad: I ate strawberries that tasted like soap today.

Mom: That's because I washed them with dish soap by mistake!

Justin: You're making me hungry.

Carla: Everything makes you hungry. Even watching Naruto eat bugs makes you hungry.

Brianna: I think my friend's dad is dying.

Carla: Hey Justin - who do you think will die next in Naruto?

Justin: Everyone. But then they'll come alive again. I hope Karin dies. I mean, I hope she's unconscious for the rest of the show and is never mentioned again.

Carla: Do you not like death anymore? You still kill people for fun in your video games.

Justin: But I'm not as bad as Mathias. Death is bad.

Dad: Is death inherently bad? I don't think it is. Jeff would say it is. Pastor Murray seems to think it is.

Brianna: It's bad my friend's dad is dying.

Carla: Indeed. That sucks.

Justin: Suckers.... yummmm.

Mom: I took my kindergarteners to swimming class today. Imagine - 15 little naked bodies running around the change room.

Dad: You were all in the same change room?!

Mom: No, we split the boys and girls up.

Dad: You brought the boys in with you?!

Mom: No, we were in the family change room.

Dad: Everyone was in the same change room?!

Mom: No, dear, just the boys and a few parent helpers.

Carla: I should go to Bible study tonight, but I feel like staying home. I want to watch "Merlin".

Dad: So it's Bible study... or ancient witchcraft?

Carla: Well, if you put it that way...

Justin: If God hardened Pharaoh's heart, aren't we all predestined?

Carla: I know I should go, I just don't feel motivated.

Justin: I'll flip a coin! We'll see was God says.

Dad: Don't tell her if she's defying fate until she's acting on her decision. Then we'll be able to see if it's predestined or not.

Brianna: I think I've met that missing girl they just showed on the news. I know where she is.

Carla: Hey Justin - if Kakashi suddenly went missing, do you think Naruto or Sakura would recognize him if he had no hair? It's not like they've ever seen his face.

Brianna: Everything I say you relate back to whatever TV show you're watching!

Carla: Sorry.

Mom: How do you know it's the same girl?

Brianna: Gut feeling.

Justin: Ok. Heads Carla goes, tails she stays.

Brianna: It's kind of a tough situation. She ran away from some horrible stuff.

Dad: Witchcraft is pretty horrible.

Carla: But is magic always unethical? Didn't the prophets of the Old Testament pretty much just get high to receive their visions?

Mom: Ethics aren't always clear cut.

Carla: Is it unethical to assassinate a dictator?

Dad: Maybe something isn't unethical just because it's wrong.

Justin: The coin is flipped!

Brianna: One of my friends got engaged.

Carla: Justin! Do you think Naruto and Sakura will get married? I'm assuming you already know Arthur and Gwen are getting married.

Brianna: You're doing it again!

Dad: Are you going to Bible study, Carla?

Carla: Yes.

Dad: What did the coin say?

Justin: Yes! Twice! She has no free will!

Mom: Which friend got engaged, sweetheart?

....and so on...

Note: This post is based on real conversations and our standard dinner conversational style (Rachel can attest to that), but is not a verbatim transcript.

"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them." Christopher Moore

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

When was this?

Justin said...

The reason I say I want someone to be knocked out for the rest of the show is because It would sound incredibly evil to say "I hope someone dies" However this is the easiest way for someone to stop appearing in a show so. (Except they will probably keep appearing in dozens of flashbacks every episode.)

And when did I say death is bad? And I don't kill people for fun! One of the only games I have where you kill people is Fire Emblem which you play too! hahaha
And in Oblivion, the one quest I killed people wasn't for fun, it was an experiment to see how they would react.

Thank you, Justin

Carla said...

Ok, ok. I get you ;-)

This wasn't any one conversation - it's snippets I remember of multiple conversations we've had all glued together. There's no way I can remember what we ACTUALLY say at dinner time. The conversation moves way too fast and covers way too much ground!

art said...

I remember these conversations and it does span over several meals.

One experiment we did on testing prayer/predestination was getting rid of the annoying girl in Robin Hood. The show's reviewers said she was annoying to the end but she was not so bad after we prayed - which is interesting because it means the prayer was answered retroactively as we had already had the shows on DVD.

Anonymous said...

We are a strange but hilarious family. :)
Mom