Wednesday, 14 October 2009

She's Still Sleeping

My brother and his friend are attempting to cook supper. I was, until recently, curled up on the couch, sleeping. The following is an account - perhaps slightly embellished - of some of the conversation I overheard in my sleep (apparently I was only in stage 1 of the sleep cycle):

Justin: So we put this in the blender?
Caleb: Yeah.
J: How do we do that? We have to put the lid on, right? How do we put the lid on? Is it supposed to be sealed in some way so that the contents don't come flying out? What are we supposed to do?
C: Uh...
J: Let's ask my sister.
C: No! Don't do that, she's sleeping.
J: Well then, here. It's in the blender. How do we turn it off?
C: Let's turn it on, first.
J: Ok. Should I hold the lid on?
C: Sure. We'll just unplug it if we have to.
J: (over blender noise) IS IT DONE?!
C: (also over blender noise) I DON'T KNOW!
J: HOW DO WE TURN IT OFF?!
C: I THINK WE PUSH THE BUTTON AGAIN!
(blender noise continues)
J: THAT DIDN'T WORK! PLAN B?!
C: SHOULD WE UNPLUG IT?!
J: LET'S ASK MY SISTER!
C: NO, SHE'S SLEEPING! ON THE COUCH RIGHT BESIDE THE KITCHEN!
J: THEN WHAT DO WE DO?!
C: LOOK, THERE'S AN "OFF" BUTTON!
(blender noise stops)
J: Is it done?
C: I think so.
J: Want to taste it?
C: No.
J: Let's cut the chicken.
C: Ok.
J: How small are we supposed to cut the pieces?
C: Uh... it says 1 to 2 inches.
J: How wide? How thick? How long? Into how many pieces? I don't know the proper proportions. What are we supposed to make out of these instructions?
C: The recipe doesn't even tell us how many servings this thing makes!
J: Let's ask my sister.
C: No, look - she's sleeping!

I did contemplate groaning out a response to them, but I figured they'd manage. At any rate, it's good that they're getting some experience in the kitchen. Though it's a little odd that they're so confused over why it's taking them so much longer to make the food than mom estimated it would...

Now that dinner is over, I'd like to share with you a couple jokes told as part of the dinner conversation. They shall be my quotes for today:

What's the difference between avian flu and swine flu?
For one you use tweetment and the other you use oinkment.

People can't use the expression "When pigs fly" anymore. Because, you know, swine flu.

8 comments:

Joe said...

Nao theres a fine exeplify of haow too kooc Supper. Tey are inspirational to all of us. "tear"
we can alll lurn from thm.


From ye British friend, Joe

Justin and Caleb said...

You forgot the part where we mixed the peaches with the ketchup. yum.

Mom said...

But supper was yummy.

Justin said...

All four pieces of chicken we left for you. HAHAHAHA

Carla said...

Hmm. I wonder who Joe is.

Joe said...

I'm ye old British friend, Joe.

Mom said...

Let's clarify that the 4 pieces of chicken were the size of jujubes!

Carla said...

Yeah, they had trouble with the "1 to 2 inches" thing.